His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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