I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
