i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
