I am full of burrito and curiosity
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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