Well apparently he's into motor boating.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
