weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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