$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
