I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize