I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
