the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
