the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
