I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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