If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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