my being single is dangerous.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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