Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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