why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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