We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
