we're blogging at a bar
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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