I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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