pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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