You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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