By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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