Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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