God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He passed out mid-signature
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize