i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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