Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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