I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
