Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What drink are we having for lunch?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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