I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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