fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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