First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize