it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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