There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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