I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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