Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
