Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
