my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize