I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
