I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
