She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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