whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
