Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize