I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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