I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
