your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
