so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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