You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
