he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
