My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
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