Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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