I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
