He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
