I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
