Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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