I think my vagina is haunted
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
