quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
