somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
