Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
