I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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